[00:00:00] Hello and welcome back to the podcast. I have to say I am really loving this space. I'm loving this new frequency. It feels so aligned with the woman I'm becoming, the woman that I am, and I'm just delighted that you're here with me. And I just have to say with love and also open arms that if this is already resonating with you, if you feel yourself leaning into this work and it's starting to feel aligned, just know that the door is always open for you to come and join us inside of my container, Anything and Everything.
[00:00:39] And I think this is so valuable to just mention because even as a coach as an individual, that has been doing this work personally on myself for the last decade, I have been receiving so much transformation from my coaches as I'm making new investments and continued investment to support where I am now. As I was witnessing who I've been being for the last year and a half, and as I've been growing through obstacles into new levels of consciousness, there are definitely places that I was getting stuck and places where I was a little bit entitled to breakthroughs or unintentionally slipping back into the mindset that I should have figured this out by now, that I should be further along, that I shouldn't need so much support, and it's just not true. My brain will probably, likely always offer me up those obstacles as I am leaning into making changes, because change is one of the hardest things we'll ever do as humans. And when we're wanting to choose our growth and choose expansion, it's inevitable that it's gonna be challenging.
[00:02:01] I had to have a conversation with my husband over the weekend because I saw that I hesitated on an investment with a second coach, because I had already invested in a coach in January. And that feeling of, well, I wanna be responsible. Well I wanna, you know, make the most of what I have. And the interesting thing was, I kind of did approach the decision from like, well, no, I have what I need. And I think there's a difference between utilizing that belief, I have what I need inside of me to grow, to change, to shift my reality, that's really empowering. And also still being open and available to the ways of learning something we haven't created yet, from the space of enoughness.
[00:02:51] And when I said it so clearly, I was like, I really want this and I believe this will help me. It was like a no brainer. And the return that I've gotten just from saying yes, energetically has been so profound for me. And even in a moment where it feels like, ugh, I could be using those resources differently, that stretch, that willingness to move through the obstacle reconnected me to a totally different side of me that I didn't even know I had unplugged from.
[00:03:27] This is the value of putting yourself in rooms where you get access to different thinking, where you get access to new conversations, where you get access to giving yourself what you desire and trusting that intuition to lead the way. Because we're always gonna be presented with obstacles to do less, conserve. And what I'm rediscovering on an even deeper level is that growth requires investment. Not only financially, but energetically. That it is going to be output, but what we're gonna get back is so valuable. Like it's gonna be worth more than we can imagine. And I have to say that's really been true for me in the last week.
[00:04:16] So today we're gonna talk about creating your experience and willingness to create your experience that comes from deeply trusting that you are allowed to have the experience you desire. When it comes to creating your own experience, this really means deciding ahead of time what the experience is that you would love to have. And one of my clients that just wrapped up with me said that this was one of the most powerful things that she learned from our container. And on the surface it might sound really simple. But when you allow this to be more than just a surface level idea, when it's really an embodied belief that you can create your experience, you will start having a different kind of life. One that's fueled with intention, but also really with agency and personal power and choice.
[00:05:23] Because I think where we stray from this idea of choosing or creating our own experience is that we feel like life is happening outside of us. Like there's this relationship to our life where circumstances happen, and then we just have to decide who we're gonna be in that experience. And that is part of it. That is a layer of intentionally deciding who you wanna be. And I talk about this in terms of Created Identity, that how we react or respond to life is within our power. It's within our control. If you are someone who does prefer to be in "control" all the time and you have difficulty trusting, like that's not necessarily the flavor of control that I'm talking about here.
[00:06:19] The control that I want you to think about having in your life is like creative control. Knowing that who you are being and what you are deciding you would love to experience can impact how you perceive your life, how you receive your life. Which is supported by or built up by acknowledging that we are experiencing our life through the lens that we are choosing. It's sort of like the glass is half full or the glass is half empty, right? There's always a 50/ 50 in life where we get to decide where we're gonna give our attention and our focus. Not for the sake of being positive all the time, and also for the sake of choosing a perspective that is going to be the most supportive, in order to facilitate the experience that you want to have.
[00:07:23] Where this sort of intersects with the idea that circumstances outside of us do present, I wanna take it a step forward to show you that yes, that is true some of the time. And, when you're making really conscious decisions about the experience that you wanna have and what you're committed to, not only can you pre- pave the feeling of the experience, you can also pre pave the thinking, the energy, the identity of who you're gonna be in that experience.
[00:08:02] And I know I've been giving a lot of examples from my wedding, but I do think that there was so much about that experience that I decided ahead of time, that I committed to ahead of time, that I looked at and opted into obstacles, challenges, growth along the way knowing that all of that was facilitating the experience I wanted to have. So much so that when I look back at my wedding, there's not a lot I would've changed because I decided ahead of time how I wanted the day to feel, who I wanted to be within that experience, which allowed me to align my behaviors ahead of time, to make choices that aligned with that experience, that facilitated me having the outcome I desired.
[00:08:55] And even just statistically speaking, when we're willing to decide ahead of time, that's how we increase the odds of actually having what we want. Versus just saying, ah, you know. Whatever. I'm open to going with the flow. I'm open to seeing what comes and I'll be happy no matter what. And I think there is a beauty and a power to surrender, so remember that everything we're talking about doesn't exist in a vacuum and it's not all or nothing thinking. This gets to expand how we are approaching and navigating all of it. 'Cause how we do one thing is how we do everything. And if we're thinking that life is happening outside of our control and that we don't have any creative agency or creative say to what happens, this is when we kind of go unconscious and say, okay, yeah. Like this is what most people are doing. That sounds good to me. And we just unconsciously disengage from holding the responsibility of creativity and choices, of making decisions.
[00:10:03] And so if you are hesitant to really decide ahead of time what kind of experience you wanna have, it could be a really interesting place to just start with curiosity. Like, why wouldn't I be willing to choose my experience? Why wouldn't I even try to make a decision about how I would love for this to go?
[00:10:30] I find that most people, when they're presented with this question, it's usually a combo platter of, well, I don't wanna be disappointed. I don't wanna get my hopes up. I don't want to live in the delusion or a fantasy, rather than being in the reality or the realistic obstacles of what's here. And again, that's not good, bad, right or wrong, but I think there's a missed opportunity to say even still, even if there are things that are circumstantial that are "fixed" in my experience, how can I be emotionally agile and open to contributing to the results and the outcome that I would love? That's a very different entry point than sort of surrendering to whatever comes, whatever happens happens, and like unintentionally relinquishing any kind of preference, desire or contribution to the outcome that's desired.
[00:11:46] And I think a lot of this too comes from the sentiment that like, we're not supposed to be picky. We're not supposed to be fussy, we're not supposed to be difficult. And so that creates a layer of sort of diminishing the desire, because we just don't know we have permission to ask. And something really small happened yesterday when, Terry and I had two of our seamstresses over and they were working on some of our collection. And again, this is like such a small thing, but the seamstress was like, I can't really go as fast as I want when I'm sewing because this machine is wobbling a little bit. 'Cause our sewing machine is like on a table, right? She's like, oh, it's wobbling. And me hearing that, I was like, oh, there's a very simple solution to this. You would love the table not to wobble. You'd love to be able to work faster. Let's take off these little wheels that are on the bottom that are making the table a little uneven. That simple example was like, what would I really love? I would love for this table to stop shaking. But the seamstress didn't like blatantly come out and ask me for that solution, right? She just mentioned her desire, which allowed me to create room for a solution, which inevitably changed her experience of sewing for the rest of the day. But if we are not in the practice of knowing that we're allowed to ask and advocate and have the audacity to be really clear about what we would love, we don't even step into the creativity of finding a solution.
[00:13:25] And so this is going to ripple out in a lot of different ways. But for now, what I want you to start asking yourself is really what would I love? Not as a way to be dissatisfied with your life, right? I think sometimes it's like, oh, well I would love this, but the chances of that happening are one in a million. But really seeing what can I control within my day, even if it is just my mindset? If I would love to have a fun day, what is required of me to create those conditions? How can I curate that experience for myself? Maybe that means going to bed early and deciding that when I wake up, I'm gonna play an amazing song or a playlist for the first hour of the day that has a frequency of joy. Maybe it is being intentional about, I would love to have a girl's dinner this month, so let me invite my four closest friends. But it starts with knowing that we don't have to wait for someone else to create that for us, that we can use our own agency and power to curate the experience we would love to have.
[00:14:40] Whether that's in planning your dream wedding, or like I said, just moving through this next hour of your day on purpose, with intention. And deciding ahead of time what kind of thoughts and feelings and emotions are going to facilitate me having what I want more of the time. Which again, like I said, starts from us even realizing and acknowledging that we have that power. We have the power to dictate how our life unfolds. Not by trying to control the people, circumstances around us, but by being actively engaged with what is in our power, instead of looking at everything that's out of our control, redirecting our energy and our thinking and our perspective to what is within our power.
[00:15:39] It is within our power to think less or focus less on how other people are annoying us, right? It is within our power to think more about the opportunity rather than the competition within the performing arts industry. It is within our power to decide ahead of time how I would love to feel on vacation instead of getting there and hoping life goes well so that I can have the experience I wanna have, right? If I haven't actively decided for myself what I would love to get out of this current experience, what I would like to get out of my day or out of my home environment, then I am gonna miss out on having the experience that I want. Not because it's not available but because I haven't chosen with intention, because I haven't chosen with precision.
[00:16:32] And I'll even give one last example because I know I'm gonna expand on this in other episodes, but it's even like if I know I wanna have a date night or a romantic day with my husband, and we've been really involved with work, that means I have to be willing to communicate those things, right? Hey, I would really love to go on a date tonight. And maybe it can be something really romantic, even if it's low key, like I wanna facilitate the feeling of romance. I can share that with my partner and I can be a co-creator of that experience. Just like our engagement, it was really a co-creation, of picking my ring and planning this four course dinner.
[00:17:16] And it is about also surrendering and knowing that it doesn't have less value if we've been conscious about creating it, right? Because I know a lot of people would be like, well, it doesn't count if I had to tell my partner what I want. And in my opinion, I'm like, well, wait a second. Like to me it means even more if I communicate that thing to my partner and then they get on board with matching my desire or facilitating that desire. Because I'm not a mind reader. I don't know what my husband wants a hundred percent of the time. But if my partner were to tell me like. Yeah, this would be really meaningful or important for me. I'm like, oh yeah, I wanna give you that thing that's even more meaningful and important to you.
[00:17:57] But then taking it a step further and saying, all right, even if life throws me a bunch of circumstances, even if I'm really tired or you know, I get cut from the audition the same day that we're supposed to have this romantic night, what can I control? What's within my power to still show up for the romance and be available to it, despite what's happening in my life at any given moment. That's when we really start having the emotional agility to choose our experience, regardless of circumstance, and also to contribute and curate the experiences we wanna have more of the time. It's about deciding ahead of time.
[00:18:42] We'll talk even more about that soon. But like I said, I want you to start with what would I love and how can I start being invested in, responsible for, excited about curating in my daily life on a moment to moment basis? And in the beginning it might feel like a little bit of extra work. And what changes when you're excited and down to do that work, because it's facilitating what you desire? It's a totally different equation for creating the life that you want and it facilitates you having it more of the time rather than waiting, wishing, or hoping for it. All right, that's what I got for you this week and I'll meet you back here soon. Bye.
