[00:00:00] Welcome. This is Anything and Everything with Kelli Youngman Singh. We are here to live the most expansive experience of your life, guided by intuition and desire and rooted in self trust, authenticity, and love. That's what expands your capacity to receive, allow and fully enjoy what you really want. Nothing is off limits. Nothing needs to be justified. Here for an extraordinary life and to have it all on your terms. Let's begin.
[00:00:44] Hello, and welcome back to the podcast. I have to tell you all that I have missed this space so much. I am currently feeling so lit up and I'm so inspired and filled up and excited to share what's been happening with you over the last few weeks.
[00:01:07] I have to tell you that I have been experiencing one of my biggest ego deaths to date, meaning I've really been letting go of so much while making room and making space to reconnect with myself, my desires, and cleaning up lots of energy leaks in my own life that facilitate my availability to keep showing up here and sharing more with you.
[00:01:37] I have so many ideas pouring out of me, inspiration, concepts, tools that I know have been changing my life that I can't wait to share with you all. And I wanted to do something special because we are currently in an enrollment period for Anything & Everything. This is your chance to be in the room. Enrollment is going to close July 3rd.
[00:02:07] So before I go any further, I wanna make sure that I communicate clearly and enough times for people to hear me, that now is your time to book a launch call. If you type in kelliyoungmansingh.com/launch into your browser, it will bring you to the page to book a call.
[00:02:29] And what I know to be true about the work that I do, and especially the room that has now become Anything & Everything, is that this is where creatives build extraordinary lives and careers, right? It's not one or the other. It's really about becoming the version of you that has all of these things as your baseline.
[00:02:56] And not only the tangible circumstances that you're experiencing, but more importantly, I think really truly most importantly, that the way that you feel, the way that you relate to yourself, the way that you handle challenges, obstacles, all of those things can be dialed up so that the overall experience of your life as a creative can feel good.
[00:03:24] And I'm not saying happy, positive, joyful all of the time, even though I do as a personal standard, make space for that. But that only comes because I'm also not resisting my other emotions. And so, we'll continue to talk about all of that, but most importantly, this is your opportunity to get in the room for the next six months, so book your launch call.
[00:03:48] And because we are in this open enrollment period, because I have taken some time away from the podcast, I wanted to do something special. So I am going to be rolling out some of my top interviews from my former podcast, and I want to give you an opportunity to hear about the work and the benefits and the impact that it had for my clients so that you can tap into the possibility for yourself.
[00:04:19] Because it's one thing for me to tell you, it's totally different for you to hear it from another perspective, from a person who's experienced the work. Like a firsthand testimonial of how their life changed in their words.
[00:04:35] So I hope you enjoy these bonus episodes, and after that, we will be back with some regularly scheduled programming continuing to dive in to the concepts that will transform your entire life as a creative.
[00:04:56] All right. I love you all madly. Here's the first one.
[00:05:02] Hello and welcome back to episode 59 of the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. Today I'm so excited because I have a special guest joining me, J Harrison Ghee. Oh my God, I've never said J Harrison Gee. I've never said that. I'm like, "I know your name is J Harrison Ghee." Wait, that is so funny to me because I hear people say your name wrong all the time.
[00:05:27] I'm like, "No, it's Gee." Oh my God, that was so fu- No, it, it's- I actually think that'd be hilarious to keep in, but- Oh, please do ... Like, it, it's funny because as you were saying it, in my head I was like, "Oh, I don't have to worry about Kelli getting this wrong." That was so funny. But for everyone- What? ... out there, the last name is Ghee, okay?
[00:05:45] Okay. J Ghee, that's me. Like the letter. Okay. Well, this guest needs no introduction, but I'm gonna allow themselves to say hello and greet you all. Hi. Oh my God, Kelli, it's so wonderful to be sitting and talking with you. Hi, everybody. I'm J Harrison Ghee, Tony Award winner J Harrison Ghee. Woo. I have to say that more often to, like, n- normalize it for myself, but yeah. I'm a supernatural badass bitch. Yes. I am a multi-hyphenate artist, creative, mover and a shaker in this world, and excited to be a vessel of change and inspiration and freedom in the world.
[00:06:26] Yes. Yes. Fuck yes. And honestly, like, I, we were just talking before we started recording about how we wanted to just give people a little insight into the work of coaching, but also our relationship and your journey to becoming a fricking Tony winner, right?
[00:06:49] Yeah. So for those of you who may or may not know, J and I go way back. Okay. We actually worked on, like, my... It was my very first professional contract, and I know it was not yours. Yeah, yeah. But we worked together on a cruise ship in Hawaii, little babies. The pro- 10 years ago What? Can you believe? Wild.
[00:07:13] Look at us now. Okay. Can you believe it's... Oh, God, it's been 10 years. Like, how? Yeah. I feel like on my Facebook memories recently, I have a photo of us sitting at Bibble & Sip, and you were on the Kinky Boots Tour. But you happened to be in town for, like, a quick visit and, like- Yeah ... we caught up there and, like, truly all of it was just the beginning.
[00:07:37] Yeah. And so- I just think it's so fun to remember that everyone that you see now who's thriving or what we perceive as succeeding and, like, w- winning these accolades, all these things, everyone started out in the same exact place. Same exact place. Yeah. And so J, my question to you is, like, if you can remember, what do you think was, like, your driving thoughts back then that anchored you into believing you could... Well, that you were, you always knew you were this supernatural badass bitch, and, like, what was your belief that kept you going?
[00:08:23] It was the understanding that I had an offering to give the world. Like, truly my mom, I said it in my Tony speech of like she raised me to understand that, like, there was purpose in my life- Hmm ... and that I was given things to be able to make a difference in the world. That, like, my experience could help somebody else. Hmm. Um, and I've, I've held so tightly to that, and that is, like, a core foundational, like, value of mine that I'm, like, getting back in touch with and really resonating with and, and leading with and have always led with.
[00:08:59] And that understanding of my journey didn't have to look like or make sense to anybody else. It didn't have to be like anybody else's. That's the one thing I say to, uh, you know, encourage people all the time. It's like your journey is your experience, and you get there how you get there. One of the funniest things to me that I- it literally tickled me all the time, of when I graduated AMDA And I went and worked at Tokyo Disney for a couple years, went and did cruise ships for a couple years, and my friends were like, "You gotta be in the city.
[00:09:32] Casting directors don't know your name. Like, you gotta be around here. They'll forget about you. You gotta stick around, and the grind is here, and like, don't be..." And the whole time I was like, "Guys, I'm okay. I'm out here working. I'm out here learning. I'm out here expanding. I'm, like, connecting with the world, myself- Mm-hmm with, like, different human beings." I was and always am a sponge. Yes. And so it was an opportunity for me to, to learn, to be a better artist, to be a better human, to have experience. And so it was wonderful to be true to that and to s- stay true to myself of like, "No, I'm gonna get there how I get there." And there's no rush. There's no limit. There's no cap. There's no definitive way of how that looks.
[00:10:23] You know, if you saw the video right now, I'm, like, waving my hands, pointing my fingers like this in the air because I think it's so easy to forget that, like, there's no urgency. Like, the urgency is our own perception of, like, I need to get there now, but truly, wherever we are is exactly where we're supposed to be, and we can't rush the process.
[00:10:48] Yeah. And I think sometimes there can be... And I don't think it's good, bad, right, or wrong because again, everyone's path is different, but when we get into the space of comparing, well like, it only took that person this amount of time, and they went to the city and it popped off. And like, there's all these thoughts that can creep in about, like, oh, I'm behind- Mm or it's supposed to look like that, or I'm not on a path to success because I'm taking this kind of job or that kind of job- Yeah ... or you know, people don't know who I am. And again, all of those thoughts are really rooted in scarcity, lack, fear, like not enough-ness- Yeah ... instead of trusting that like you said, a- and I love that you said this, it's about being a human and expanding as a human that adds to our value as artists, right? Like, it's not just like, can you hit this note? Can you do this move? It's like, what's the point of view or just like, again, the depths of your individuality that can come through, the authenticity that comes in. Yeah. 'Cause everyone can sing. Everyone can dance. Everyone can do this thing, right? But what makes it unique and special is you actually being you. Yeah. You knowing that you have a gift to offer the world through your unique lens, and that all comes from being a sponge and inviting in the learning and the expansion from every single- thing we do, right?
[00:12:09] Yeah. 'Cause it's, uh, like you said, everybody can sing, everybody can dance, and hit the step, and do the thing. But it's like, what can I gain from w- said contract or said project? What can I absorb from this situation to surprise myself or to just affirm something I already knew? That's what I loved about doing cruise ships. The way I got to... I did three contracts and got to sing so many things I would've never imagined singing. Like, doing Burt Bacharach reviews, doing a rock show, doing a, you know, a Broadway review, doing a Vegas show. I literally sang so many types of songs and so many genres, and I was like, "Oh, word. Great. Got the jazz under my belt. Got the Broadway review under..." Like, literally working, and honing, and finding parts of myself that I'm like, "Oh yeah, that exists there." Yeah. Or, like, finding how it makes sense for me.
[00:13:08] Yeah. You know, I have to say this because it's coming up. One of the things that I honestly value so much, and one of my biggest takeaways from our cruise contract, was, like, appreciating every single person that contributes to the gig. Like, I remember us having to do our presets, our costumes, our quick changes- Yep, yep everything on that contract. When I went and booked my first Broadway contract and, like, there were people doing it, I was like, "Wow." Like, "This is so special" and, like, it really gave me an appreciation for the work that goes into every single piece of every single thing. And yeah, I'm just so grateful that I had that experience of, like, zipping up my friend's costumes, and putting out the presets, laying them down. Like, learning what it takes, and, and just the value of that role- Yeah ... in, in every way.
[00:14:00] And, and all of that to speak to also the foundation of our relationship that helped me trust you- Mm ... to come in to do this work. To be like, "Of, of all the things we experienced together from Piney Point, Maryland- ... in the middle of nowhere Not Piney Point. Piney Point. Literally at this, like, seaman school in the middle of Maryland, just, like, dropped out nowhere, breaking down on a bus when we went, like, grocery shopping at... Like, all the things, and experiencing, like you said, those show moments of, you know, people showing up late, not showing up for the show, all the things.
[00:14:42] Then you building your wellness coaching and offering that free session, it made it easy for me to come into it because I was like, oh, there's a trust, and a foundation, and a connection that I have, that I'm willing to do this work for myself with somebody I can come in and be honest with, with someone that I can not guard- Hmm how I enter the, the, the space. Even every day, like, I try to prep for a call, and I'm like, "Okay, what do I wanna celebrate? What do I..." And I try to... But I'm also like, I'm just talking to a friend, and I can really come in and let it flow. Hmm. And that's what I appreciate about every call. It's like, no matter how I come into the call, the way I leave it is charged.
[00:15:29] Hmm. Because we find, we unpack, we really do, like, start peeling back these layers and getting to the meat and the heart of the matter, whatever it is for that moment, and not think beyond that of just like, "Okay, great. This is where we are today in this moment. What's coming up now? Keep it fresh." Hmm. Mm-hmm.
[00:15:47] You know, I'm so glad you said that, J, because I do think sometimes people could argue the other way, too, that it would be hard, or I'm doing lots of air quotes- Yeah, yeah ... or difficult to do this kind of work with someone that they know. I guess I'm curious, too, because I, I like to think that as a coach, especially if we're in a coaching space, if we're on a coaching call, it's a very different space than if we're meeting up and having drinks as friends, right?
[00:16:12] And so, I don't know, I guess I'm curious if, if there's another way you would explain that to someone who, if you're looking for a coach in general, like- What am I trying to say? I guess I'm... Do you hear what I'm saying? Like, it's sort of like- Yeah, it's- ... they c- it could go the other way, too. I, and I totally get that.
[00:16:32] It is, yes, it can be like, "Ooh, I know this person too well, and I don't wanna share these parts of myself with-" Mm. "... like, I don't wanna get into these, like, vulnerable places with somebody that I know so well. I wanna keep those things separately." Mm-hmm. That's understandable, and it's like great, you do what works for you.
[00:16:49] It all starts with the intention- Yes ... and how you are g- going about doing the work, and you have to be intentional about wanting to do it for yourself. At the end of the day, that's what matters. Yeah. And every day I remind myself going into the call, it's like, yes, I'm talking to a friend, but also I'm doing this for me.
[00:17:07] Yeah. And if I don't come into it honest, or if I come in trying to protect certain parts of myself, it makes me, now having done the work for so long, I'm like, it makes me that much more conscious of what I'm keeping from myself, or what- Ooh ... like, how I am protecting myself in a way that is not serving me.
[00:17:28] Yes. And I think in general, that's been my experience with having coaches as well. It's just a different kind of space where you really do get to, like, know yourself to a depth that you didn't know was possible. And I say this all the time because prior to working with my coaches, like, I would've f- said that I was doing the work, right?
[00:17:52] Like, I was doing the work, I was meditating- Yeah ... I was reading, I was like, I was filling my mind and, like, learning the beginnings of really navigating and managing my mind in a way that was so intentional. And then when I worked with a coach for the first time, it just changed everything in a way that I didn't anticipate. And so, yeah, it is so fascinating how having a coach, having that container, having that space makes space for depths that you just, like, didn't know were there. Yeah.
[00:18:26] And I love what you just said, and I, I mean, I, it's like we do this even in our calls. It's like the nuggets that I pick up and really hold onto, like, you just said, like, managing your mind. That at the end of the day, I, I keep saying in conversation with people recently, it's like we're all playing our own matrix and finding how we can manage our own minds. Mm. Of how do I navigate the world with this individuality? Mm. How do I authentically stand true and, like, to myself while navigating the world and circumstances and dreams and fantasies and thoughts and ideas? How do I manage my own mind? Mm. And becoming your own manager, it's a feat. It can be. I, like, I get that. But to take those reins and to really sit in it and be like, "Oh, no, I'm the manager of my own mind." All right, now how do we manage today? Yes. And on top of being manager, right? It's like I know we talk about this all the time, the idea of really being the creator of our experience, right?
[00:19:39] Managing, but also creating. And you just mentioned something that I think is so valuable, the idea that, like, life is always life-ing. There's always going to be circumstances. Yeah. Relationships, breakups, moving. You name it. Illness, injuries. Like, there's always going to be life around us, but what makes it so different is what's happening in your own mind. How you engage with it, the relationship you have to these circumstances can just be so much lighter and more easeful. Yeah. I think that's the word I'm looking for, easeful. When it's... When you're also then not trying so hard to please others or do it right or avoid disappointing th- like, when, when we're not carrying the weight of the circumstance, but we're really allowing it to be neutral- Yeah it changes so much.
[00:20:33] It really does. I mean, for example, like y- you say that, brought up, like right now, I recently took my trip home to be with family and check in and do the things, and I'm always intentional about going back home after all the work I've done for myself as an individual and making sure that I don't fall into habits and patterns of, of family ways and all the things. And being so firm and like, "Oh, no, just stay, stay neutral and true to you and let the, the, the other circumstances be what they are." Like jumping back into seeing my father and dealing with his health issues and being able to neutrally handle that- And confidently just be like, "Great." Meet the moment, meet the circumstance. You are in control of this experience. It didn't have to be anything you don't desire it to be.
[00:21:22] Hmm. And to acknowledge, had I not done the work for myself, the actually done the work, what old me would've done to respond in certain moments. I was just gonna say, J, like, I just wanna, like, acknowledge and celebrate because, like, truly that's been a part of our work, a component of our work. Like, creating peace and space and neutrality around your relationship with your father, and getting to know how that journey was for you is... I just, yeah, I just feel like we all have our things and our relationships with our family, and I think so often we can go into it with the thought that this is complicated.
[00:22:03] Uh-huh. Um, and I know for myself too, like, coaching changed my relationship with my family completely, and opened up new ways of being that, just like you said, the old me would've handled that very differently. Very differently. And to know then that y- we get to decide what that future looks like. It never is what it is. Yeah. Right? But that we get to, like, shape and create and, and move through it with intention how we wanna show up, how we wanna respond. It's just, it's been so beautiful to get to witness. Yeah. So I just have to acknowledge that.
[00:22:38] Thank you, yeah. It's, ugh. Ooh. Like, I can't, I, I can't stress enough the amount of times, without trying, I will just be, like, living life and experiencing and having conversations with people, and I'll be like, "Yeah, and the work I'm doing with my coach, like..." Uh, and like, and I feel, like, I don't even feel it, but, like, there's a part of me that acknowledges, like, oh, I'm that person now. It's like, "Yes, and the work I've been doing with my coach." Like, but it is so, like, I'm excited to share it with people because I'm like, you, you deserve this tidbit. You deserve this clarity, this, this tool, this aid to assist in your experience. Hmm. It, it makes such a difference to be able to manage in such neutrality. Yes. And in such power and in such truth. Hmm. Like, I've always been a truthful being, but to seek it more and to really live in it and to just be like, "Oh, no, this is what you... Truly this is what you're getting," and to trust it, and building that trust again in myself of like, "All right." You, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This resonates, and the things that you feel and desire are yours and are valid and deserve to be celebrated. And I love that we start every call with, like, what are we celebrating?
[00:24:00] Yes. I think it's so integral because I think somewhere along the lines people got their wires crossed, and they were like, "If we're celebrating ourselves, we're being egotistical, or we're being this, or we're being that," or like there's this like gotta stay humble mentality. And it's like no, when we're not competing with others, it's safe to celebrate ourselves. It's safe to celebrate ourselves because we're equally celebrating others. Yeah. And I think, like, that is, like, truly one of the things I, like, am always aiming to bring into the performing arts space, into our industry, is just like it doesn't have to feel like competing when we're in the abundance that everyone's... like, what's meant for everyone is here. There's more than enough opportunities to go around. Like, what's meant for you will never pass you by. Like, I will say all the cliches in the world- Yeah ... and I stand by them, right? And when that's the mentality, like, it really is. Like, you're only ever being a light when you are willing to celebrate yourself.
[00:25:01] Yeah. Yeah. It changes everything. And, and, and, and it, it feels good to celebrate yourself. Yes. I mean- There's nothing, nothing wrong with... Like, truly it's like it's easy to, to give it and to do it to oth- you know, for others. But it's that thing of like when you really turn it around on yourself and turn that light inward, you're like, "Oh, right. This just ignites me even the more to continue to seek celebration and freedom and joy and, and peace." Mm. And it, it, it is grounding in such a clarifying way. Yeah. It... To be able to really say, "I am worth it." Mm. "I am worth the effort. I am worth the time. I am worth the investment." of my energy to be able to expound on this.
[00:26:04] I have no words. No, just kidding. I always have words. I talk a lot. Um, oh, wait, so J, I know everyone wants to know, what was it like for you, and I mean, stepping into the identity of being a Tony Award winner even before it happened? Because I think this is, like, the most important piece of coaching and the most useful piece of coaching, is that you learn how to start believing in things that don't exist yet. Like, that's actually how you create the momentum and take action. All of it comes from the belief. Yeah. Can you give people just a little bit of an insight into what it looked like for you to know that was coming, even before the nomination, even before the win, like, even before any of it? What did that feel like for you? What was that like?
[00:27:07] Et, ugh. Again, the, the knowledge that it was always there A- and, and of course hindsight, you're like, "Oh yeah, no, I have always felt this thing of like the greatness and the success," but not even because of just the Tony, but like the knowing of my capability and my worthiness. Mm. And I mean, when I got the role, there was something of like, oh, this is a part of my purpose. This is so grounded in who I am as an artist, as a human being, and this is beyond a, a, a, an award and a thing, but also impactful for so many. It... That, like it was so clear to me that there was the purpose in this experience and this particular project. And to like really be able to just keep digging and, and finding the, the truth of, of that and stepping into it was enlightening and empowering.
[00:28:20] Just the, the, the moment that they approached me to say, "Hey, you know, you being non-binary, what do you wanna be considered? Which category would you like? This is what, you know, the circumstances are." Allowing myself to go to the moment of receiving a Tony before even, like you said, before nomination, but to take the moment for myself to really go there and stand in the moment and say, "I'm receiving a Tony.
[00:28:46] What do I stand for? What do I believe in? What are my values? What am I presenting to the world? How do I stand in that truthfully now, pre all of that, to, to be able to take on whatever comes?" Mm. That moment was pivotal to be able to, like, genuinely go to the moment, not just be like, "Oh yeah, I'll take whatever you give me," and like, "I'll con- consider me however." But to specifically know the message I wanted to send, the hearts I wanted to reach and touch and affect and, and be intentional about it. Like, the clearer all of that was for me, it was easy to just be like, "Great. All right. Anything else? Bring it on. Let's go."
[00:29:33] Mm. And the thing of like, yes, even had the Tony not materialized in this go round, I know that I'm still capable and worthy of all of it. J, I think this... Oh my God, I could fucking scream right now, because I think that is so important. Whether it's a Tony award or getting a role, booking the contract, right? It's never literal. It's like, it's, it's, it's destined. Yeah. It's who you are. And I love, like, whether it was this go around or the next, like it was coming. Like, there was so much certainty in how you said that, and I think sometimes we get so caught up on what is. Mm-hmm. Like, the tangible thing that's here right now, while it's like, "Well, I need this thing in order to feel the way I wanna feel," instead of really giving ourselves the opportunity to go to the space of knowing this is who I am.
[00:30:28] I can feel that way now. Yeah. With or without the Tony, knowing that it's coming, right? It's like, it's so not literal- It's- ... but it's the feeling space.
[00:30:42] It's like, you know, you giving me the space to introduce myself and saying like, I normalize saying to people, "Now I'm a supernatural badass bitch. Always have been and always will be." Like, I stand in that so firmly of like, oh no, I have always felt the power of me. Mm. And I can't be ashamed of that. I can't hide from that. And have to just walk in that and let people be affected by that. And there's fun in that. There is joy in that. There is freedom in that. Yeah. To be able to be like, "Mm, this is me."
[00:31:20] What do you think has been the biggest catalyst? Because like you said, you've always known that, right? You've always known it, you've always felt it, and now you're really walking and standing in it. What do you think was the transition or the catalyst for, maybe, I don't know if the right word is, like, outwardly expressing that or, like, sharing that with others the way that you felt inside?
[00:31:42] Oof I have been a dreamer my entire life. So stepping into these moments and allowing life to keep teaching me, hmm.
[00:32:05] What's coming up for you? It just, ugh
[00:32:18] It truly, uh, like it was a moment of high vibration that I had to just sit in for myself of just like, ooh it's the limitless thinking and the dreaming, but now I'm in a place where it's like The p- at, at some point it has to flip from, as I keep saying, a play dream to an like an activated dream Ooh, yes. We were talking about that. Like, it's not just like a wish list or a, a dream... It's not out there in the ethers.
[00:32:55] It's ta- it we're, we're... It's active, it's here, it's present, it's being created. It's the belief in it. Yes. It's the, the, the knowing, and then, you know, we talk about it all the time, the operating from that place. Mm. And I, I think that's the tool that like can really help people. It's the like, okay now actually like don't just dream it, be it.
[00:33:23] Ooh! Yes. Like- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes ... and you can be, you can be it now. Yes. I love now taking the opportunities of life to operate from the future self. To be like, "Oh no, I know my worth, I know what I'm capable of. Let me go to that place, but operate in the now."
[00:33:47] I mean, like, that's coaching in a nutshell. I feel like... and honestly, that's, I think, what makes therapy slightly different from coaching, right? Like, i- coaching, we're always future-focused, and we're creating from who are we going to be and how do we be that now. Yeah. Right? It's just, it's a slightly different entry point of, like, creation and exploration when it is like, yeah, how do I imagine myself to be then, and what am I bringing into now?
[00:34:18] Yeah. You're- you're like, "Yeah, I see these parts of myself that exist that I believe are me, so how can I tap into that prior to having the full picture?" Yes. 'Cause it's not gonna look how you imagine anyway. It's gonna be- Yeah ... like, that's the thing, it, it not being attached to that outcome. Yes. Yes. So I have to just be present, show up, tell the truth, and be like, "All right, it'll lead to what it leads to," but if I can bring that to now with the knowledge I have, the, like, actual know, and then let it be infused by circumstances, then that's the magic happening and compounding and really building and, like, creating.
[00:35:04] Yes. Yes. And J, I mean, like, you're so in this work, right? Like, you're so in this way of being and creating. If you feel open to it, would you share some of the fun things that you're creating now, and, like, the fun future self that you're bringing into today?
[00:35:26] I mean, talk about having clarity and groundedness and being able to create. I am now capable of having conversations and creating space for myself to make music and to produce and to direct and to be the creative director I have always been in my mind. But now put that into action. I'm now talking about working on projects that are like, yeah, we're talking about a $500,000 budget. We're talking about working with millions, and it doesn't scare me. It doesn't like... It's not daunting. It's not a task of like, ooh, I, can I do this? I can. Now educate myself to know how to do it properly, get the right people to trust, know that, like, again, the trust is built in myself first and foremost, that the vision is clear. And then from there you're like, great. Like, it re- every time I have these conversations and these meetings, it gets more and more, like, settled in me of like, okay, great. Nope, this is what we're doing. Yeah. And this is just the, like, jumping off part. Like, we're just starting here.
[00:36:44] Yes. And I do wanna, like, just say too, like, I remember when some of these things were ideas, right? And so having a coach, having space to talk about it, it's like getting used to, getting the reps in of saying it out loud and g- and really taking the, the ownership of creating clarity, right? Like- Yeah ... I feel like then it's like, oh no, this is like, what else? What else? Like, how else can this expand? And now, like, I th- I mean, I think that is part of the creation process is l- allowing it to start out as like, ooh, wouldn't that be nice? And then no, like really watching it fly into your experience. When you're unattached to the outcome, when you're not creating resistance or needing it to be a certain way- Yeah ... but allowing the clarity to come as you keep allowing it to be realer and realer for yourself- Mm-hmm ... for all of us, right? Like, when we really allow it to not be something like hypothetical or like a, a pipeline dream is like what I'm saying- Yeah
[00:37:52] it's like, no, like this is what I'm creating. This is who I'm being. This is what I'm deciding. And everything you've been saying, it's like the clarity and the decision of like, this is who I am. Again, like I am a Tony winner even before the nomination, right? Like, it's the certainty and the declaration, the self-declaration.
[00:38:14] Yeah. Mm-hmm
[00:38:20] I know. I know. I mean, it's fucking, it's fucking cool. It's so fun to watch, and like truly, like it is just the beginning for you. Like, it is. Like, it just is just the beginning. You're just scratching the surface of everything- Yeah ... that's to come.
[00:38:37] And it's, it's so amazing to start creating these new dreams, but clearly. Yes. Like you said, not in a wishy-washy, not in a hazy like, ooh, dreamland. You're like, "No, it is clear. It is crisp." Even if I don't know how to actually get there, I'm like, "No, I see it, and it's there, so great." I'm gonna do what I can now to like weave and, and create and command and demand and declare what is already mine
[00:39:13] I mean, like, what else is there to say?
[00:39:18] Again, 'cause it, it like, and the fun of it, of, you know, the work we've been doing is like even in, i- in the work and in the clarity and the groundedness of it, still having the awe. Yes. Still enjoying the awe. Still allowing it to like- To the celebration of it. Yes. It's like you don't put in the work for nothing. You don't do it just to be like, "Well, that happened. Okay, just keep on ticking." You're like, "No, now celebrate what you've created." Yes. And celebrate who you're becoming, the process of it all, right? Ooh, it's just... I- literally what came up in that moment is like, oh.
[00:40:07] It's like the Bible, you know, tells the story of like the creation of Earth and the world and all the things, and it's like in these seven days, God created this and looked at it and said, "It's good." Even God, who created the things and put us all here and manipulated and do, do, do, do, do, do, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, looked at what was created and said, "And it's good."
[00:40:34] Mm. You have to be able to s- ooh. You have to be able to celebrate the thing you created for yourself. You really have to allow that moment to be able to, like... Your stamp of approval is the only stamp that matters. Ooh, yes.
[00:40:56] The way, the way I would say that, right, is like you're always your highest authority. Yes. Right? And when we're not delegating it or needing it from others, the validation, the approval, the love, when we're really generating that for ourselves, that's where the f- the freedom, the peace, the joy, the awe, the wonder, it gets to be with us all day, every day.
[00:41:21] Yeah. It's, it's one of the funny things, I love when people s- simple things of, like, m- me and fashion choices, and people look at me and be like, "Oh, I could never wear that. I'd never do that." And I love to pose the question of them of like, why not? You haven't freed yourself. You haven't allowed yourself the space to even go there. Mm. And whose standard are you living by? Who gave you that nugget that said you couldn't do the thing, that made you believe you couldn't have what you desire, or blocked you from even looking in a direction that is possible to you? Hmm. Everything is available to you. You decide and you choose how and what you engage with. So good.
[00:42:09] So good. But really, like, it goes back to the idea that, like, everything that we are is just a collection of the past, and, like, belief systems we either inherited or learned from others, and we really do, I think in this work especially, get to strip that away and come back to truth and self. And it's always like, what is true for me and what do I want to be true for me? Because, yeah, why not? There literally is no limit to what we can experience and have and be or do except for the things we're putting on ourselves. Yeah.
[00:42:44] Again, because we're, we're conditioned. We have been taught that, like, success looks a certain way, that, like, you only get there by, you know, certain steps. As opposed to being like, "Oh no, I have my own experience to have. This is- Mm. I, I am the driver of this car. Where do I wanna go?" So good. And you will have backseat drivers and, and all the things, but again, you, you are in control. So remain in control. So good, J.
[00:43:17] I mean, I feel like honestly we could just keep talking like this for hours and hours and hours, and we do and it's the best and so much fun. And if there was one thing that you would want to share, or one, like, one... I mean, there's literally freaking golden nuggets in this whole conversation. Go back and listen to it 10 times, everyone. But it's like, if there was one thing that you wanna close out with today, one thing that you want to remind people of, what's on your heart today?
[00:43:49] Show up for yourself. Nobody can or will take care of you like you can. The better you know yourself, the better you are in touch with what you know, what you don't know, what you desire to know. The more clarity you have with that for yourself, the better you can show other people how to engage with you. And the better experience you have because you remain in control of it. It is your narrative to be in control of And so t- showing up for yourself is where the work begins- Mm ... and ends. Like, it truly is like that i- that is it. You are y- you are your own authority And the power lies within you. Oh. And honey, that's the gospel according to J.
[00:44:52] Yes. I'm like OMGG. That's it, though. Like, truly, that is it. And yeah, I mean, knowing that, actually having ownership of that concept, that idea that you just said, is truly what changed my life as well. Like, 100%. Yeah. Ugh. Wow, okay. We should do this every fucking day. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. J, thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you for being here, sharing your heart, your experience, your wisdom, your love, your individuality. Thank you for sharing all of you, and I freaking love you, and- Thank you. Thank you. I love you, and I'm so grateful for this work, for your friendship, for your coaching, for, for everything.
[00:45:41] It is just, like, it is so impactful. It is so, ugh, like, it just... It's fueling to be able to, again, to remain the authority of my life, and to have this coaching and this assistance to creating the life I desire, that I deserve, that I am worthy of. And your light is so infectious, and always has been. And again, it is what has brought me to be able to do this work, and I'm, like, eternally grateful for your existence.
[00:46:16] Thank you, J. I receive that. Ugh, so, so good. All right, everyone, I will meet you back here for another episode. Bye.
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