Ep 24: Your Power is in The Present
===
Kelli: [00:00:00] Welcome. This is Anything & Everything with Kelli Youngman Singh. We are here to live the most expansive experience of your life, guided by intuition and desire and rooted in self trust, authenticity, and love. That's what expands your capacity to receive, allow and fully enjoy what you really want. Nothing is off limits. Nothing needs to be justified. Here for an extraordinary life and to have it all on your terms. Let's begin.
Hello and welcome back to the podcast. I am recording this coming off the high of a VIP day with one of my private clients. And during this day, we [00:01:00] really went in there and embodied and identified places in my client's life where they were ready to upgrade, where they were ready to really see and understand what's been holding them back.
And it was so amazing, because a lot of what came up was understanding that we all have the ability to draw a line in the sand. To draw a line in the sand today and declare, "Up until now, there have been things in my life that I've tolerated in my thinking, in my behavior, in my procrastination that no longer serves me. Belief systems that have impacted how I move through the world and what I accept from other [00:02:00] people and what I'm willing to receive." And if I'm willing to draw a line in the sand today, I can create a new reality. I can identify so clearly the things that are no longer a match for where I'm going, and that is really how you get to create such lasting change. When you actually start becoming aware of who you're being, that is no longer a fuck yes.
And this is something that I really think is so powerful and potent for all of us. And it's something that I continue to do for myself as I go through different levels of Identity Upgrade. And what's so crazy, maybe not crazy, is I've [00:03:00] been, again, reassessing and reevaluating how we get to become more and more and more and more efficient so that we can have it all.
Because so much of what I teach, so much of what I offer, is the result of creating the life you really want. And if you understood, if you really, really heard me and understood that the results you wanna create are within your control, you would just get to work and do it. Which is a lot of what I talked about on last week's episode.
And so anyways, I am really just riding that energy because it was such a potent day filled with so many aha moments. And the through line, and what I kind of started the day with, which is what I wanted to offer you on this episode, is that you [00:04:00] have all the power in this present moment. You have all the power to change your life in this present moment. And who you are being right now, today, is what is determining what creates your life. How you are spending your energy, your currency within life today, is what's going to give you the outcomes, the results, the evidence of how you're currently living.
And so I went into this day with this idea in mind for my client, and it just led us down this beautiful path of reassessing and reevaluating different areas of their life where they were getting clearer about what they wanted to call in and more specific. [00:05:00] And it's this idea and this knowing that if right now, the present moment, is where you have all of your potent energy and your creation and your connection to possibility, how are you spending today? And I want you to ask yourself that too.
Have you been spending today, and not even today, like right now, have you been spending now worried about the future? Have you been anxious about outcomes or things coming in a certain way, or you're not sure how things are gonna work out? Are you spending time anxious, worried, fearful of things going wrong, the worst-case scenario? Are you ruminating on the past? Are you experiencing in your body and reliving moments where you felt stupid, where [00:06:00] you felt embarrassed or ashamed or regretful of something that happened? Are you currently living in the past?
Or are you right now fully available to life?
And I think this is such a great question. Because even in the last week of life, a lot has happened. And when I look back, the moments that felt out of control or disappointing or frustrating, it wasn't good, bad, right, or wrong, but I was holding myself in a pattern, reliving a moment that had already passed.
This isn't about bypassing your emotions. This is about, yes, allowing yourself to honor them and to process them. But then also realizing [00:07:00] that at the same exact moment, if you were to bring your body back to the present moment, wherever you're sitting right now, with full awareness, full freedom, full ease. What you could start to do is connect to who you already are. Not the projection of who you're gonna become, which I do believe is a helpful tool at times, and I use it a lot. But if you really understood the power of now, yes, that is also the title of a very impactful book, but if you understood the power of now, you would be investing all your time to understand and appreciate and [00:08:00] honor who you're being today. Have you done that today? If the answer is yes, amazing. Let's keep doing more of that. And if the answer is no, that's where the work begins.
Because if you are holding yourself in judgment, in dissatisfaction, in fear of what your life currently is, you're carrying a frequency in your body that is quite literally keeping you a mismatch to the life that you wanna live. So now is the moment that you have access to your highest self. Now is the moment where you get to rewrite your story and rewrite your inner beliefs, your core beliefs about yourself, your life, about possibility, and if you're not harnessing [00:09:00] that power right now today, again, that's where you've gotta start.
And so what was so fascinating about this, and what I've been thinking about a lot in terms of why I know this work is so valuable, is that this is what's happening for most people unconsciously. And again, it's not good, bad, right, or wrong, but the more you become aware of how you're thinking and why you're thinking and how you're feeling and why you're feeling, and the structure behind thinking and feeling on purpose, what's so interesting is that in those moments, you start gaining access to shift those things, to sort of like tinker with your own energy and become the creator of it. So that no longer you're living by default, but you start stepping into a Created Identity, a created future, a [00:10:00] created timeline for your life where you really get to trust that you're the version of you that gets what you want.
You are the version of you that gets what you want. And I'm curious to know, like again, if you're listening and you're connected to the present, how much are you in belief of the thing that you want? You'll know based on how it feels. And what's, again, so fascinating and why I think this work is so powerful is because when you actually have this skill set of understanding how to slow yourself down enough to be present, where you're not thinking about the future, you're not thinking about the past, you're not bringing those lenses into your present moment, what is created is pure availability. Availability to [00:11:00] possibility, but availability to yourself, to love yourself, to trust yourself, to be with you.
And that skill set is what facilitates being more efficient and being able to get more done. And I know that sometimes we resist the idea of productivity. Because I think a lot of people get stuck in this idea of, "I have to be productive. I have to get something done." And they're using the idea of productivity to, like, whip themselves into shape. But I don't think productivity in and of itself is a bad thing. I think that it can be highly valuable to be really efficient, to use your time well, and that's what creates the container to have the life that you really want, especially when you have multiple desires, multiple dreams, and many facets of life that are [00:12:00] meaningful to you.
If you stay in the place, and again, this could be a whole episode in itself, but if you stay in the place where your dreams are competing with each other, where you think that your time is a pie chart and you're divvying it up and you're trying to make it even, it's gonna start feeling like you are cutting yourself into pieces of a pie. I remember when this used to happen to me, and I was like, "Well, I'm giving 50% of my time to coaching and 50% of my time to performing," and then I started getting even more minuscule. "Well, I gotta, like, partition in my personal time and family time." And soon enough it felt like I had slivers of time and calendaring that no longer felt fulfilling. It was very depleting to live that way because our experience of time isn't measured in [00:13:00] percentages. Our experience of time can be very spacious depending on how we are thinking and feeling about ourselves and how we're relating to our time.
And so again, are you using the present moment to be present?
Something that happened this week that I think pertains to this topic is that I have a lot going on. This week has been a full week. I had client calls, I had auditions. In the midst of that, I got two self-tape requests with multiple songs and sides. And on top of that at the time of recording this, I'm getting ready to go home to New Jersey to go and attend my sister's baby shower, which is so exciting.
And on top of that, I had a VIP day with a client, and I had my part-time job, and I also had a [00:14:00] pool day that was scheduled that got a little rained out, but more on that later. But there was a full week of scheduling before I head out to vacation. So when this podcast episode drops, I'm actually gonna be in Mexico, which is so fun.
And clearly, there was a lot of different experiences happening. When I look back on my ability to navigate this full week, what I know to be true is that the way I was able to engage with my life, to say yes to these opportunities without losing my mind and feeling overwhelmed and feeling burdened by all of these amazing things that I love being a part of my life, that happens because of full and total availability to the present moment. To surrendering to, what can I complete right [00:15:00] now? What's my desired outcome? And how am I gonna think and feel on purpose in order to support that?
The way that I did that was through my relationship to myself, first and foremost, always. I have another episode about this. It's You and You. It's always you and you. On top of that, it's your ability to think and feel on purpose, which the result of that is what I consider emotional agility. Because on top of that, everything in my life was not going perfectly this week, right? It rarely does.
It rarely does feel like everything is just super smooth sailing, and it's actually not a requirement for me anymore for my life to be perfect and great and for me to be in a good mood in order to get everything done.
Honestly, even sitting down to do this podcast, like, my stomach was really bothering me earlier, and [00:16:00] I still managed to give myself time to rest, to support my body, to nap when I needed it, and all of the things magically got done. I actually did both of my self-tapes yesterday, and I look back... Was it yesterday? Yeah. Oh my gosh, that was yesterday.
That's the thing, is when you're in this present, now moment, without projecting future, without projecting past, but you're really here now, what happens is you slow down time.
Oh my gosh. I'm blanking right now on what the book is called, but there's an amazing book that talks about Einstein Time. It's the understanding that time is experienced in the way that we're perceiving it. So if you're in the present moment and you're thinking, "Oh my God, I have so much to get done. This is gonna be a crazy week. I just wanna get to vacation." Like, if [00:17:00] I was in that experience, I know for certain I would not have created the time. Instead, yesterday, I woke up, I still had a slow, spacious, loving morning with my husband. And even though I hadn't really looked at the sides, I was like, "Okay, I have the ability to learn quickly."
So I did two scenes for a self-tape, I got to enjoy my breakfast with my husband. I went to meet my friends for a gorgeous pool day that did get rained out. However, we ended up having a beautiful lunch, quality time with my friends, and came home. There was a part of me that really could have been, I don't know, tired. It was a rainy day. Normally, even my self-concept is like, I'm someone who gets really sleepy on rainy days. But again, if I'm not projecting and I'm just [00:18:00] available to be here now, another title of another award-winning book. But if I am just being here now, I was like, "You know what? I was sleepy, but now I'm feeling energized, and I could actually do my second tape today." And if I'm not getting in the way with my inner dialogue or fears or thoughts of, "Oh my gosh, I don't know if I can do this, and I haven't practiced, and I don't know." And if I'm in all of that confusion and anxiety about the performance I'm gonna give or the tape or the pressure, or if I'm telling myself I'm not gonna get it done, tapes usually take longer, because that's what's happened in the past.
Again, I would not have been available to just create the space and the simplicity of [00:19:00] saying, "Actually, I can get this done quickly."
And even in the midst of that, I'll just tell you, like, things were not going perfectly either, right? Like, I said something... Oh, I remember what it was. I had, like, flowers in a glass. Like, I was using the glass as a vase, and then my husband washed a glass, and I don't know, I got so skeeved out that he poured my drink in there. I was like, " I can't drink that." And for a split second, my husband got a little bit frustrated with me of like, "What are you talking about? I washed it. I wouldn't give you a dirty glass." And this happened in the midst of me preparing my second self-tape.
I could have really, like, lost my shit, been annoyed, been pushed off my center. But when you know how to think and feel on purpose, all of these things become less of a problem. And it's like, okay Terry didn't love that. He's a little frustrated by my request or my refusal to drink out of [00:20:00] this glass. And again, I know it's perfectly safe. He cleaned it very thoroughly, but even still in my mind, I was like, "I cannot drink that." I cannot drink out of that glass until I forget that there were flowers in it weeks from now, and I have watched it thoroughly soak. That's just me. But I know I am a little bit of a germaphobe, and it's like, again, if I am in this now present moment, that experience has already passed. That experience is gone. So now am I gonna hold judgment about my husband while I'm doing this thing in this now moment? No. I'm gonna tap into my highest self that has the bandwidth to do this tape now.
And so it was really interesting because in the early part of the day, I wasn't fully committed to doing the tape yet. I had considered maybe I would tell my agents no. I was, like, [00:21:00] kind of open to the experience of, well, I leave for vacation on Sunday. There's a lot to do. I would be okay if maybe this isn't a perfect fit. But what I realized is actually there would be value in me doing the tape and to challenge myself 'cause there was a little bit of me that was like, "Eh, I don't know if this is right for me. Maybe I wanna push this away." And I've just gotten to the place where I'm very curious with myself. If I feel myself resisting, most of the time I take it as a sign to lean in. And I was like, you know what? There could be really great benefits to this project, so I'm just gonna do the tape. I'm gonna say yes to what's here. I'm just gonna engage with it, and I talked myself into doing it while I was on the way home from my rained-out pool day. Which again, I feel like I could've been disappointed about or, you know, felt shorted or, I don't know, a variety of things. But if you're just in the present moment now, you're like, "This is where I [00:22:00] am now. Do I wanna get the most enjoyment, the most value, the most opportunity to connect, to be present, to enjoy. Like, that's what I'm seeking all of the time, right? And you have access to that when you start to think and feel on purpose.
So anyways, I ended up doing the tape, and even in the midst of that, I noticed recently that our sh- shower, like the, the tub was just dripping even when the shower was off. So like, we had a maintenance guy here fixing our apartment, banging on things. I'm like pausing and waiting to do my slate, like in between bangs in the bathroom. But like, it was so easy. And by the end of the day, I looked back and I was like, "That is so wild to me that I was just able to get that done." And if you had asked me to do that a year ago, three years ago, 10 years ago, like that would've been monumental. I wouldn't have even [00:23:00] said yes to the ta- I would've spent all week freaking out. I would've been stressed doing the tapes. I would've been, like irritated, agitated. I would've felt like God was playing a sick joke on me because the week before vacation, now I have all these things to do.
But nothing in my body raised. Like, there was no heightened cortisol. There was no stress. There was no anxiety. There was no panic. Maybe there was a little bit of like, "Huh, okay. This is another thing to do." But I actually don't even have that thought anymore as much as like, "Oh, this is adding on to my to-do list." It's more like, "This is exactly what I've asked for. This is the life that I love to live. These are all the components of my dream life, so I am going to embrace them fully."
And at the time of recording this, Dolly Parton passed [00:24:00] this week, and even though she's such a light and a beacon, I don't have a personal connection with her specifically. And one of my friends at dinner was quoting that when Julia Roberts was working with Dolly Parton on Steel Magnolias, that Julia Roberts asked her like, "Why aren't you complaining? Like, we're so hot. We're this, that. Like, all this is happening and you're... Like, how are you not complaining about this?" And Dolly said like, "I dreamed of fame and success and opportunity, and I've got it. I'm not gonna spend any time wishing it away or complaining." Julia Roberts was like, " And then I stopped complaining."
But it is really true. I remember getting this coaching years ago when I was still living in Harlem, and I call my coach at the time like , "Oh my God, this is happening. I just got this audition, and I got a [00:25:00] call back," and I was so panicked, like, outside of the CVS. I was, like, overwhelmed to the max. My body couldn't fathom. Like, all I kept thinking was, like, the adrenaline of I have so much to do, so little time. That was my narrative. Oh my God, panic. And my coach was just like, "But wait a second. This is what you've asked for."
And so if you're in that experience, it's not a problem, and it's like that's where we have to go to expand your capacity so that you can be in the receiving of what you wanted while also knowing that you have the time, the space, the confidence to do what you want with ease.
And I know this work can be very intangible at times, but the results that it produces are always tangible. The results that you can produce when you have full availability to this now moment, when you're not just reliving the [00:26:00] past or playing fear tapes of the future, you just get to ask yourself, "What would I love to do now? How can I contribute to my dream life? How can I move into the vicinity of my dream?" And even if that means just purely enjoying the present moment, right? Because it's also not about, like, I always have to be doing, I always have to be thriving, I always have to be achieving something. It's not about achieving. It's about actually being available to be where you are.
To be engaged and to appreciate sitting on the couch, or to be able to engage and appreciate speaking with a friend, or resting, or being fully where you are. Okay?
So that's what I got for you today. Are you currently milking this present [00:27:00] moment with full availability or are you spending the present moment out of the power of now? Are you using this moment to do the work that is required to clear your mind of the minutia and the noise that distracts you? Are you becoming aware of that noise? Are you starting to see like, "Oh, I spend a lot of time and bandwidth not fully here in my power, where I have the opportunity to draw that line in the sand." Are you using this moment right now to draw a line in the sand for what's not coming with you into the future? Are you accessing your power to make a different choice, to commit to the things you really want, to know that you have the power to think and feel on purpose, so you don't have to succumb to procrastination or [00:28:00] avoidance or resistance of what's uncomfortable, but instead you can follow through right now on anything that you want. Right now.
That's the power you have when you are really thinking and feeling on purpose, when you are understanding that you're the creator of your life and that it's happening now, and right now you have connection to all possibilities for yourself, if and when you choose to hold the power.
So as I was telling my client today, all of the power is in the present, in the present moment, in your willingness to acknowledge your greatness today, to see your power, to engage with yourself fully without beating up on yourself or name-calling or doubting yourself. If you can tap into right now [00:29:00] and see yourself with so much love, harnessing trust in yourself, and starting to identify all the ways you chip away at that unconsciously, you will start living a life that is more purposeful, more intentional, and you're also gonna start seeing that you can be the version of you that always gets what you want.
Even if that doesn't feel true yet, just know that that is a possibility for you. Try it on, that I could be telling the truth.
That you could become so efficient in your life, energetically speaking, that you're not spending it and wasting it on things that pull you out of the present moment, where you can do something today to move you closer to your dream and to also be fully available to enjoy the presence of the dream that already exists. Because I know that right [00:30:00] now, even if your circumstances don't look perfect and they're not exactly what you want, that if you look for the perfection of who you are today, you will find it. Okay?
So use today, be present, tap into the now, and let yourself become available to that experience more and more of the time.
And if you're like, "Okay, whoa, this just blew my mind. Kelli, I wanna take this deeper," of course you do. Book a launch call at kelliyoungminsingh.com/launch. I would love to propel you into a different kind of experience, where you can get more done without the experience of how it's felt in the past, right? This full week of life for me wasn't filled with pressure or deadlines or panic. It was really luxurious. And yes, there were moments where I felt tired, but I moved through that present [00:31:00] moment with love and support, which is what filled me up to complete every single thing that I wanted to do.
That's what I got for you this week. I love you, I love you, I love you, and you deserve to enjoy your life right freaking now. And if that's not happening, it's not a problem. It's not a bad thing. You just haven't learned how to give yourself access to the fullest availability to now, and that's actually super solvable. All right, I'll meet you back here next week. Mwah.
